Without God, We Are Condemned To Be Free
Sartre

WWRWD?
What Would Robin Williams Do?

Lon Phillips Enterprises untitled
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Lon Phillips Enterprises

The Computer belongs to a Redneck if

The Computer belongs to a Redneck if......

1. The mouse is referred to as a critter.
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-Rom drive.
4. There is a gunrack mounted to the CPU.
5. The password is "Bubba."
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
7. Outgoing faxes have beer stains on them.
8. The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too
   fast.
9. The extra RAM slots have parts for a '76 Dodge Aspen
   installed in them.
10. The menus all have Budweiser, Black Label, and Old
    Milwaukee options.
11. Jeff Foxworthy *.wav's.
12. The monitor is up on blocks.
13. Seven blue tick hounds under the computer desk.
14. Deer jerky in the desk drawer.
15. The screen saver consists of Ned Beatty with the dueling
    banjos playing in the background
16. The six front keys have rotted out.
17. John Deere Pocket Protectors.
18. The only games installed on the computer are "Deer
    Hunting" and "Bass Fishing with Babe Winkleman"
19. Bumper stickers on the side of the tower stating "I brake
    for nobody"
20. Copy of his lawsuit against the makers of "Redneck Rampage"
    claiming that he and his brother never did such a thing.

© 2006 Lon Phillips Enterprises

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