Without God,
We Are Condemned To Be Free
Sartre
WWRWD?
What Would Robin Williams Do?
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Lon Phillips Enterprises
WWRWD?
What Would Robin Williams Do?
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Guide to Buying Gifts For Men:
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter
if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has
yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless
drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with
the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two
words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-
way, are you through with my 3/8 inch socket yet?" Again, no
one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car.
A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something
to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their
cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And
never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had
wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have
invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they
have worn out. If you have a lot of moneybuy your man a big
screen TV and watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and
flips.
Rule #6:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. With-
in a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely every-
where. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You
get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #7:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr
Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RVCenter, and Les Schwab
Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also
excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know
what itis. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey!
Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
Rule #8:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a real man astep ladder. It must
be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Clamps. Men can never have enough quick grip clamps.
No one knows why.
Rule #10: Buy your man Duct Tape. This is a man's most
universal repair tool. All men know, if you can't fix it, duct.
it.
Send, comments, suggestions, trivia questions(!) to Lon Phillips
bravenet.com