Without God, We Are Condemned To Be Free
Sartre

WWRWD?
What Would Robin Williams Do?

Lon Phillips Enterprises

Christmas Shopping Fun

1. Randomly put cans of cat food in peoples carts when they
   are not looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official
   tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what
   happens
5. Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all
   off and turn the volumes to 10
6. Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift wrap
7. Put M&M's on layaway
8. Move "CAUTION_WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll
   only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding
   department
10. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
    ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror
    while you pick your nose
12. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale
    battlefield with G.I. Joes and X-Men
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon
14. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the
    clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are
15. Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
    "Mission Impossible"
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front
18. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using
    different size funnels
19. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through
    say "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume
    the fetal position an scream "NO!NO! It's those voices
    again"
21. Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them you
    don't get out much and would they put one of those little
    umbrellas in it
22. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud .."Hey we're
    out of toilet paper in here!"

© 2006 Lon Phillips Enterprises

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